dear stress-time to go!

Bout time for a post! I go on google reader everyday but I don't post very often.. it's about to change! I'm thinking it's like a give and take-I read so many awesome blogs that I love and am inspired-but don't write in return!

Writing has always been an outlet for me, and I think that it will really help me with expressing my self and keeping in touch.



It's been a crazy past week. I'm so grateful today that I feel more like myself (after sleeping yeshhh!) but I still have issues. Let me explain.



It's been hard lately. It's hard to feel like myself, I've felt like a scared, stressed out to the max version. I haven't slept well, taken care of myself well, breathed well, thought well, and I tend to stress about everything. I love being able to enjoy and love the little things (make that the big things too).



It's in my blood to be a worrier. Ever since the beginning of 8th grade I had a really hard time with stress. It overwhelms me. It started with stress about my health, ironically. I don't know how many times I went to the walk-ins/ doctors office. I don't like going to our doctor now because I think he thinks I'm a hypochondriac! I thought I had appendicitis (many times :) mumps, possibly cancer, everything. I wanted to give everything to just feel healthy again, and I was only 14 when most of this happened.

The great blessing that came from this was that my mom found out that she had celiac disease, after both of us were tested to see if we had it. Her migraines have been so much better. It seems a blessing and a cursing sometimes, but I just want her to be healthy and happy.



Now I don't have such big health worries anymore, but I think my body feels the effects of my stress. I stress about school, friends, performing, pretty much everything. I have really tense muscles and headaches and whatnot. I'm 16 and I want to feel like it! One thing that has always caused me stress and is a big stress now is my skin. I've tried many things and always wash it twice a day. I started Accutane a few weeks ago and it's amazing what it can do, but has yucky yuckyy side effects. It might be what's causing me feel so sad lately, but I don't know.

I want clear skin. I don't know what it's like.

I want to be healthy.

I want to have more self confidence.

the end.

My thoughts are scattered, but what I'm trying to say is that I have a hard time dealing with stress and worry. I feel like I've wasted a lot of time worrying. I have books, been to a counselor, and prayed a lot. I know Heavenly Father doesn't give us anything we can't handle, and I try everyday to deal with this.



and now.... time for a blog that helps me de-stress and have a fun place to express myself! I'm either going to keep this blog or start a new one- but it'll be me!



Megan Marie~